The damage is done

I have been studiously apolitical on my Facebook page and in my blog.  As a school leader, I have intentionally avoided using social media as a soapbox to proclaim or forward my personal biases or agendas.

I'm about to express a political opinion.  See, two things have changed.  First, I am not currently employed or affiliated with any organization.  I do understand that I will be again in the future, and that the internet is permanent (if only everyone understood that reality!).  I'm OK with that.  Second, we as a nation, in the United States, have forwarded entrepreneur and reality star Donald Trump as a major party candidate (Republican, as it were, even though Trump's historic stances do not align with that party's platform).

Opinions, in support of or in opposition to, that particular candidate dominate the Internet right now, and I'm reluctant to add to the volume and enter that (often nonsensical) fray.  Nonetheless, I am compelled to go on record, if you can call this humble blog a record, with a thought about "making America great again."

I cannot believe Trump can win the general election in November.  I believe that in America, ultimately rational critical thinking prevails over vague assertions, hope prevails over despair, and love prevails over fear and hate.  I could be wrong about that, sadly, but let's say I'm right.

Here's the thing.  It doesn't matter.  Trump doesn't matter--he could be any hate and fear mongering demagogue*.  The damage is done, by his supporters, by those that seem to stand by and for racism, sexism, ignorance, bluster, denial and sound bite solutions to complex problems.  The world sees it, our children see it, and as a nation it defines us.

But, we are better than that.  While many are frustrated, while many are disenfranchised, while many are fed up, while many succumb to the appeal of anger, to the appeal of "outsider," enough-is-enough rhetoric, to the appeal of polarized, us vs. them thinking, we are better.  The values we stand for, as a nation are better.

We do, after this campaign, regardless of who we end up electing as president, need to make America great again.  Because the things that have been said, and supported, and celebrated have marred that greatness.

What's next, America?

*it's a bandwagon word these days, and I want to be clear here about exactly what I mean.  I mean demagogue in the modern sense, as defined here, and I want to highlight these methods as aligned with what I've seen of his campaign.

My life back...who knew?

I have really enjoyed being a building principal (at all levels, ultimately, high school, middle school, and elementary school) these past eleven years.  I've made a difference in students' lives, made a difference in teachers' professional practice, and formed many positive relationships along the way.  It was rewarding on many levels.  I look forward to more of that, perhaps at a higher leadership level, in the future.

Right now, though, I'm just getting started on my year's hiatus.  I'm just getting started at letting go of the background tension of always being on call, always being where the buck stops, always being, weekends and holidays included, the principal.  I'm starting to notice what I put on hold eleven years ago, "just for now, until things calm down."  Pleasure reading (not that I didn't enjoy reading professional journals and books and so forth--but I didn't have time for a whole lot more).  Quality family time that was not snatched in precious snippets.  Really fully being present, when together with my wife.  Taking care of house and home projects.  Exercising enough.   Mowing my own lawn.  Playing the guitar and singing folk songs, with friends and family, or just alone, just for fun.  Trying my hand at home-brewing a batch of beer.  I hadn't noticed, but I had been systematically back-burnering everything that was non-work-related, for years.

This year, whether I end up with a part-time position, or no position at all, my first focus is going to be on family.  A mentor superintendent once told me my success in the business (of educational leadership) would be defined by my ability to disengage from the work.  While I know that I will always be inclined to give my all, where I work, I'm learning, after eleven years, that I have needed and will need as I move ahead to do a better job at sometimes letting go.

I'm reminded of a story that went around the Internet (I'm not sure about, and haven't been able to find an original attribution; it references a lecture on stress management from a Harvard professor.  I found a version of it here, on Eric Crawford's blog, Eacology).  It's not if the glass is half full or half empty; it's not really how much the glass weighs.  It's how long you hold it.  For a bit, I'll just be setting down my glass.

Though it is self-funded, and not long-term, I'm calling it a sabbatical.

It's family time

After two years at back in the States, for a mix of family and professional reasons, I am ending my tenure at Sacred Heart School.  The move back to the Rogue Valley was the right one, and well timed with extended family (they needed us).  And I have been honored to lead the school, and we have made positive progress on a number of fronts at a challenging time for the organization.  However, it is time to make another change.  I am looking forward to taking a quiet year, professionally, a long promised and anticipated sabbatical, albeit a self financed one.

Since early in my career, I have been saying, I'm not going to wait for my eventual retirement, but take a year here and there to focus on family and leisure and hobbies and growth and learning and fun and my relationship with God and travel and adventure and all those things we wait for until "someday."  My last attempt was in 2003, while I was completing my masters.  I lasted five months before I had fallen back into full time employment.  This time, I am completing my doctorate.  So some of that learning time will be diving deep into my dissertation, and really being able to focus on it.  I may sub a bit, or teach music lessons, or even find a part-time teaching or admin post, but I am going to resist falling into a full time gig, until the next academic year, when I will be on the market for school directorship or superintendent position.

In the meantime, I am going to try to get to know my wife and sons again--to give them each the kind of sustained and focused attention they deserve.  At the same time, I will attend to my mother, currently in nursing facility on hospice, with sustained and quality time, and to my mother in law, who is suffering from a pretty severe dementia, adjusting (poorly at present) to the loss of her husband and her recent move to an assisted living facility.  It's a wonderful, truly sumptuous setting, with a caring staff, but she keeps calling and wanting to be picked up from "this hotel."  As a family, we are reeling from the illness and loss of my wife's father, and the weight of responsibility managing the trust and the estate, and the care and best interest of my mother in law, and on a separate caption, my mother.  Add our own financial lives, and that starts to sound like a full time, though unpaid, accounting job on its own.  I am looking forward to having the time and attention for these things, and more importantly for these people:  my own family.

I'm worried about reentering the job market after a year of, well, I can call it what I like but it is unemployment.  I'm worried about making ends meet as we dip into our savings to meet living expenses for the next year.  I'm worried about health care.  I'm worried about the impact this will have on my eventual retirement, notwithstanding the early career promise I made myself.

Despite that worry, I know in my heart that this is the right move for my family.  We came back to the states to care for our parents, and it is time to get serious about that.  I have had my nose to the grindstone working 60 hour weeks for the last eleven years, and shouldering the responsibility of being "the principal," that does not go away on weekends or vacations.  I'll be honest, I've enjoyed it, and I've accomplished much good for the institutions I have served.  But, for at least a little while, I'm ready for a break!  This year is going to be a coarse-grained way of achieving work-life balance.  I've approached my career as service to others.  This year, I'm going to serve my own family, and yes, my own heart, soul, and self as well.  It's time for that.

Wish me luck!

A New Year

My last post, months ago, acknowledged technological complexity. Like so many others (I read about it on my Facebook, Flipbook, SmartNews feed, Yahoo News and so forth), one of my New Year's Resolutions is to simplify and declutter.  I actually cleaned out my desk drawers yesterday, for example, even though I don't have time for that sort of thing right now.  It feels good to have clean drawers.  Hmm.  Didn't the Rain Man say something to that effect once?

I'm drawn to the tiny house movement, at least in spirit and concept.  I'm all too aware of the Pareto 80/20 principle, and would love to pare down to the 20%.  Materially, and digitally.  Socially.  Spiritually, even.  The catch is, even if you need something only occasionally--you still need it on those occasions.  And in the meantime, you must store it, carry it, and feel its weight and presence in your life.

I'm also looking to keep a positive focus, and to be and stay energized.  I have some strategies:  prayer, journaling, exercise, and simple force of will.  I do love new beginnings.

To all: a blessed and prosperous and successful and peaceful and productive new year.  Let's make it so.